


Hollow

by Magistrate_Lemon



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Nightmares, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23884159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magistrate_Lemon/pseuds/Magistrate_Lemon
Summary: Sometimes he wakes up the moon is high in the sky and is greeted by walls of stone and his skin coated in sweat. Nightmares lingered on his mind and rested on his tongue. On those nights Yuri wonders why he’s even alive or why he should even bother trying when he clearly didn’t want to even exist anymore.
Relationships: Balthazar von Adalbrecht | Balthus von Albrecht/Yuris Leclair | Yuri Leclerc
Kudos: 46





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> A vent fic on feelings by yours truly.

Sometimes he wakes up the moon is high in the sky and is greeted by walls of stone and his skin coated in sweat. Nightmares lingered on his mind and rested on his tongue. On those nights Yuri wonders why he’s even alive or why he should even bother trying when he clearly didn’t want to even exist anymore.

“Yuri..?”

Sometimes on those hollow and empty nights would Balthus come and sleep with him. Usually, because someone wants company, a session of passion that leads to exhaustion, or even for reasons neither could really understand.

“Did you…” Something crept along up his leg and Yuri wanted to cry so badly. “Have a nightmare?”

An obvious question of course. Why was Balthus so stupid? So unbearably stupid? Sometimes he wished he would use common sense. Yuri curses himself for being so harsh, tries to bite his tongue, yet the thought lingers in his head and taunts him. ‘Keep thinking that way. He will leave you eventually when he sees how pathetic you really are. No one will ever love someone as broken and worthless as you.’

The voice always mocked him.

He wants to cry, he really does. He hates how his dreams turn into painful nightmares of many varieties, but nothing was as worse as the recreations of his worst memories. Oh how he desired to forget the world around him, watch it become the cinders of a book in a fire as it's erased from the world and eventually, everyone’s minds. Would that be his ultimate desire? To become cinders in the wind? To eventually become nothing?

He could feel pressure against his back. A hand. His, Balthus. Wrapping his arms around his body and Yuri could feel himself shrink into an ant from his presence alone. He desperately tried to not look at his face, trying to occupy his eyes with anything else he could spot.

But his voice.

It kept dragging him from his thoughts. The unintentional brush of his chest, the warm breath again his ear, the caution in his voice and realisation in his eyes.

“Shit-”

His mind lingers again. And he sees men. Good men- Horrid men. Saving Bernadetta, hurting him in return. Sometimes he feels their hands and their nails digging into him, sometimes he hears laughter and crude comments directed at him, sometimes he remembers blood that didn’t belong to him spewed on the soil below and splatters tainting his face.

Lovely. Yuri imagines that, if fear never overwhelmed him, he would have sat in a pile of corpses for the rest of his life in joyous glee.

A tightening of the brutes grip, Balthus stopped him from falling at the risk of suffocating him.

“I’m here boss.” Reassurance, confidence. He feels a wet warmth falling down his cheeks and Yuri wonders if he was crying. “Yuri.” Tight. Trying to keep him to reality. “I’m here. No one is gonna harm you, not on my watch.”

Crying.

He’s crying.

He couldn’t stop crying.

How ugly he must have looked to him. He was glad the other man couldn’t see his face, couldn’t see the failure underneath him.

“H-Hurts-”

“Shh~” Goddess he tried to hush him, he really did. “I’m here.”

“It hurts- I can feel-” He was drowning, falling into the sea of the wolves. The Blue Sea Star would spit him out eventually, he didn’t belong where the Goddess once lived. “Hands- They won’t-” His once lovely soft skin became tight and felt like he was trapped in another’s body. Fake. Artificial. “Bal-Balthus I can’t- S- See-”

“It’s alright.” Again, again, again, again. “I’m here. Just put your head on my shoulder and cry.” 

And yet, despite the tears that ran down his face. He couldn’t find the ability to cry.

But then something inside him cracked, another memory, another grin. Another flash of his mother’s loving expression and the pompous look of Constance and the bored expression of Hapi. The dumb grin on Balthus’s face after a brawl, bringing in more gold before wasting it away just as quick on drinks or to impress a pretty lady.

His throat became sore.

His ramblings became cracked gasps and croaks and even those warped into something horrid eventually. Tears and screams and crying.

Crying.

Balthus held him firm and tight as he cried and cried again, everything hurt and never had Yuri felt so insignificant. Balthus must have thought so little of him, he just knew it.

And yet…

“I’m here Yuri.”

Love. Adoration. No hint of mockery or disgust.

“I’m here. And I will never let you go.” How warm his embrace was. How he desired it. Yuri knew he didn’t deserve it and yet- 

“Let it all out Yuri, you’ve been through so much.”

The hands were quick to vanish, the visions of lecherous grins and perverted gropes faded away into nothing. Only warmth and his protective presence remained, yet he still cried.

He just couldn’t tell if he was crying from the pain or crying from the feeling of being so loved by his family and friends around him. It blended together. Yet the love of his close ones became overwhelming.

And, briefly, did he think. Yuri was glad to be alive, surrounded by fantastic people who cared.


End file.
